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I want you to compare and contrast the two emails below, from “John” and “Michael”.

The first email is an example of several I get each week from those you’d think would know better (this guy actually did attend the World Economic Forum in Davos!!), yet somehow are surprised when the rug gets pulled out from under them!  They look around and start scrambling for what to do next – sometimes the panic is a financial concern, but often it’s simply a question of where they can contribute next.

—–Original Message—–
Sent: Tuesday, January 2, 2007 10:53 AM
To: David Nour
Subject: Checking in and looking for a new gig…

David,
How goes it?  I’ve been consulting at XYZ Company for the last six months and got caught flat footed yesterday.  I found out that they aren’t keeping me on after this month (financial woes here).  So I’m scrounging around to figure out what I can do with myself in February.  If you know of anyone that could use my expertise (full-time or consulting), I’d love to hear about it.  If you want to take a look, my resume is attached.

Thanks a bunch David!
John

Two fundamental problems here:   

1. This guy is a classic “taker,” as the only time I hear from him is when HE wants something!  In this case, I went back and looked up the last email from him – it was in 2004!!  He has NEVER called to ask “how are you, how is your family, or your business, or let’s meet for a cup of coffee so I can find a way to become an asset to your efforts!”  As such, I have little incentive or inclination to help – other than recommend my new audio CD of the Top Relationship-Centric Mistakes Most Senior Executives Make!
2. He’s scrambling to dig a well when he needs it, when in reality we all need to be digging our wells far in advance of needing the next job, a piece of business, or help in getting that project done.

The second email, in contrast, is from someone who has proven himself to be a relationship “investor.”  Although I may not have agreed with some of his career choices over the years, I like him as a person and have gone out of my way several times to help him.

—–Original Message—–
From: Michael
Date: Thu, 17 Aug 2006 07:20:48
To: David Nour
Subject: RE: Virtual Introduction

David,
I trust your trip to China went well and that you had safe travels.  I am writing to see if I could make an introduction for a friend and neighbor of mine, Paul Matsen.  For years Paul was the Chief Marketing Officer at Delta Airlines and I thought the two of you would appreciate getting to know each other.  Let me know how you’d like to proceed.  I look forward to catching up with you.

Best regards,
Michael

Compared to the first email from John, Michael often thinks of others when reaching out and aims to add value in each interaction.  Once he has made that Relationship Currency® deposit, it’s a lot easier for him to ask for a withdrawal – which by the way, he has become very adept at by following up and leveraging those investments for a return as well.  Soon after the above email exchange, I introduced him to half a dozen potential sources of value to his efforts!   

The diversity, quality and the investment efforts you make in identifying, building and nurturing your portfolio of relationships is your most valuable asset!  I’m amazed of how often people forget this!